Unmaking a femnie in the audience
Unmaking a femnie who is a watching you argue with another femnie is different to doing it one-on-one.
As a 3rd party they are not being directly assaulted by your words. If they witness one of their own ridiculed and shamed for being a femnie this can break the illusion that femnies have the high moral ground.
Insults which mimic femnie insults are especially shocking. To call them fascist, racist scum is likely to throw them off-balance.
Ridicule or charm?
The choice depends on the judgement of the person in the conversation and whether there is an audience.
Always attack the ideology as perverted, but to decide whether to be nice to the person.